Somebody Save Me
by IntoTheWilds
Summary: PART NINE IN THE BUILDING BRIDGES UNIVERSE: MPREG WARNING: "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay this is PART NINE in the BUILDING BRIDGES UNIVERSE. MPREG WARNING in place my doves and this is based a few years after DEAREST MOTHER. Angst filled and a tad dark, enjoy my loves! If you wish to track updates, or just chat with me, come find me on facebook at Intothewilds Fanfiction (Emza).

IntoTheWilds

xxxx

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><p><em>"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." <em>_  
><strong>― <strong>_**_Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_**

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><p>CHAPTER ONE:<p>

**Bitter Sweet:**

Sixteen year old Amy Morgan stood outside her twin's bedroom and squared her shoulders as if she were about to do battle. Jesse Morgan had become the embodiment of all sullen teenagers and in the last months had shut out even his twin, a fact that both upset his parents and Amy. With a heavy sigh the young girl looked about as if in search of her courage and her eyes fell upon an array of family photos on the far wall and she smiled at one in particular. It was from the twins fifteenth birthday. It was one of those shots where they hadn't known there was a camera on them and they had looked so carefree. Amy with her cropped brown hair—that had grown out since, bronze skin and dark eyes had her arm thrown about Jesse's shoulders. Jesse was laughing, messy brown hair—that had once been black—everywhere and framing a face that would've made Angels weep. It wasn't long after that his smiles disappeared and in the last few months the boy had become so depressed their parents were considering dragging his butt to a therapist and Amy dreaded how that would turn out. With a heavy sigh the girl reached out and finally knocked. It had the reaction she had expected and yet she still couldn't help but flinch.

"WHAT!"

Amy swallowed heavily, "Daddy said to call you down to breakfast. Papa's dropping us to school on his way to work."

There was disgruntled cursing, the stereo shut off and the door was ripped open. Jesse looked nothing short of malicious, dark eyes bright with temper. In recent months the boy had lost a drastic amount of weight. He always had their papa's slender build, but now he bordered on emaciated. His skin, a slightly darker colour to his sister's, didn't look healthy. Jesse looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks and his clothing hung off him, the oversized MCR hoodie drowning him. Without a word Jesse grabbed up his book bag and pushed past his twin heading downstairs. Their elderly dog Marlo met Jesse at the bottom of the stairs. The Beagle-collie was probably the only one Jesse let near him these days. With a yip, he licked the teen's fingers and trotted alongside him into the kitchen. Amy felt like an idiot following a full step behind, but she wasn't brave enough to invade her brother's dark cloud. She planned on living till her seventeenth birthday.

Derek Morgan reached for a piece of toast and caught sight of his only son as he did so. The gloom and doom act was getting to a whole new level as of late, but neither Spencer nor Derek knew what to do about it. Instead he adopted the cheeriest voice he could, "morning Jesse. Sleep okay kiddo?"

"I slept," grunted the teenager while buttering a single piece of toast and pouring milk into a glass.

Derek exchanged a look with Spencer. Spencer looked positively distraught. He had no idea what was going on with his own son and it hurt him deeply and Derek was on the verge of tossing gentle ways out the window and going about it the hard way. Jesse was positively volatile and if he had to tend to his crying husband one more time he would initiate an old fashion spanking. In silence they had breakfast. Once upon a time Jesse would ramble off facts about pretty much everything. The twins didn't possess the same intelligence as Spencer, but they were extremely bright and Jesse loved to read. Now to have the boy so introverted, his silence making his twin silent was heartbreaking. The thicker the tension, the more scrunched up Amy became and the second Spencer reached for his keys she was out of her seat and away from her twin. Jesse followed a second later.

"Have a good day baby boy," Derek said pulling his lithe husband against him for a kiss, "I'll be here when you get back, unless a case pulls me away. Love you."

Spencer smiled, "love you too."

Derek kissed him one more time, pulling him briefly against him, "his moods won't last youngster."

"I hope not Derek," Spencer replied miserably, "I just can't stand seeing him clearly hurting and yet I don't know why."

"I know baby, I know."

Reluctantly Spencer let him go and gathering up his things he trotted out to the SUV sitting in the driveway. Jesse and Amy were belted in. Amy had taken the passenger seat and Jesse had the back. The boy had already popped in his head phones and by the vicious blast of metal through the speakers; the boy was fully blocking the world out. Pulling from the drive Spencer smiled at his youngest daughter, "Anything interesting on the agenda today?"

"Not unless you call Micha's possible attempt of asking me out interesting." Amy said with a sweet smile.

Spencer grimaced, "Micha Anderson, he's going to ask you out today? Didn't you tell me only a year ago what an egotistical pig this boy is?"

"Oh he was, surprising considering Agent Anderson is so lovely, but I don't know," Amy shrugged, "he seems to have grown up some over the summer."

Spencer shrugged a shoulder and indicated for a left turn, "If you say so. I trust your judgement kiddo. Good look telling your father though."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Amy began, "I won't be telling daddy unless there's something serious ahead."

Spencer chuckled, "in other words you're going to keep your mouth shut as long as possible?"

"I remember Paige's last boyfriend, or don't you recall how that turned out?"

"Derek was being a typical father."

"He told the kid he had access to a gun and a shovel."

"I do believe that was after the, 'dude...it was just a beer, no biggy'." Spencer rolled his eyes. "Hell, I was tempted to shoot him and I haven't held a firearm in years!"

Laughing Amy bent and gathered up her book bag. Spencer pulled up in front of the school and kissing Spencer's cheek the teenager scrambled from the SUV. With a mumbled goodbye Jesse followed her and into the school.

Amy waited for him at the top of the steps, book bag slung over her shoulder. Jesse looked exhausted, disgruntled and Amy wanted nothing more than to fling her arms about her upset brother and hug him close. Of course recent experience told her that wouldn't go down well. As had become habit Jesse walked wordlessly past his sister and straight toward his locker. Like the last few weeks his best friend Andy was nowhere in sight. He had given up on Jesse quite some time ago. With her locker right next to Jesse's, Amy followed him and reached for the combination. She had twisted in the final number just as her best friend Saoirse arrived, the Irish girl beaming jubilantly at her, "Hey sweets," Saoirse greeted her demeanour ever bubbly. "How was the weekend?"

"Quiet. I spent most of it texting Micha and catching up on the assignment from Mr Jacob and—oh my God your hair is white!"

Saoirse burst out laughing, "Your attention to detail sucks. Yes. I did it Saturday. My Mum freaked, it was rather funny."

Amy rolled her eyes and pulled her history book from her locker, "in other words you did it to piss her off."

"Yes well, not everyone has saintly folks like you Amy," Saoirse teased good-naturedly only to jump a mile out of her skin when Jesse slammed his locker door and stormed off. Saoirse rolled her eyes, "No offence, but is your twin still PMSing?"

Amy groaned, "Pretty much. My parents have no idea what to do with him anymore."

Saoirse shrugged, "My brother Enda went the same way years ago and my mum just left him to it. Eventually he got over himself, Jesse will do the same."

"I hope so," Amy said sadly and for the first time tears pooled in her dark eyes, "it's like there's a dark heaviness in my heart and I know it's him I'm feeling it from and I'm helpless to fix it."

Be damned of who was watching Saoirse pulled Amy into a hug and held her while she cried.

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><p>Jesse shoved through the crowded halls and made his way to first period. He was tired and worn out, sick of his parents and sisters asking him every two minutes if he was okay. No, he was not okay! Was that the answer they wanted?! It wasn't the one he wanted to give! He'd handle his shit on his own and he would continue to do so.<p>

"You're not looking so hot Jesse."

Jesse stiffened and came to a stop looking to his left. Andy stood lounging next to his locker, green eyes boring into Jesse. Jesse swallowed and faced him. The sixteen year old was trembling. He didn't want this discussion. Hell he'd been avoiding Andy for months now. "What is it Andy?"

"Jesus Christ," Andy snarked bitterly, "don't sound like you're happy to see me. You avoid me like the plague, tell me to stay away from you and you can't even say hello?"

Jesse glowered at the seventeen year old, "Fine...Hi."

Andy growled out something and threw his hands up, "Yeah, fuck you very much too, later Jesse!" Snatching up his bag the teenager stormed away and Jesse let him.

Avoiding certain hallways at all costs, the teen made it to class just before the bell and completely intact. He lifted his gaze to the clock above the blackboard and groaned. It was going to be a long day.

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><p>. . .*:::*. . .<p>

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><p>Later that day Jesse entered the cafeteria around fifth period and wished he hadn't bothered. He wasn't a foot in the door when his sister was waving like a lunatic from the other side of the room. Dark eyes narrowing the teenager just did his usual and ignored her, making tracks to a nearby table. Sitting down he pulled his meagre lunch toward him and just barely unwrapped his lunch when the seat in front of him was pulled back and Andy deposited himself into it. The older boy looked positively livid. His dirty blonde curls stuck up everywhere, the odd wayward strand framing his face and his emerald eyes burned with temper.<p>

"Can I help you Andy?" Jesse asked wearily pushing the sandwich aside, suddenly no longer hungry.

"I just had quite the interesting chat with Amy and hell I saw it for myself Jesse. You mind telling me why you've severed your twin like she's a rotted limb?"

"The crap between Amy and me is our business Andy," Jesse snapped.

"The fuck it is when my baby cousin is consoling the poor kid in the middle of the hallway!" Andy hissed back. "Amy broke down last period and told me everything! She told me you've stopped talking to her, how even Paige can't get through to you! She told me your parents are at their wits end, your poor papa spends most nights crying to sleep and for what?!" By now they had drawn attention, but Andy didn't care. "God damn it, the Jesse I know wouldn't hurt people like this. The Jesse I know volunteered at the nearby animal shelter, sacrifices his place on the bus for an elderly lady and gave his last five dollars to a homeless man so the guy could get himself a decent meal! The Jesse...The Jesse I _love_ is still in there somewhere and I'm begging for him to come home."

The word love had Jesse flinching as well as Andy's tears. Half the school had already suspected the boys were seeing each other, hell Amy had figured it was a possible rejection that had sent her twin into such a downward spiral, but clearly Jesse was the rejecter. Both Amy and Saoirse stood and started toward her twin and Andy. They needed to diffuse the situation and quick.

"You quit the basketball team," Andy continued, "you quit debate and your grades are slipping, what the hell is going on?!"

Jesse stood and gathered up his belongings before moving close just so Andy could hear him, "Just because I went to bed with you once Andrew, it doesn't make you my keeper." Glaring up at the taller boy one more second Jesse kicked back his chair and stalked from the cafeteria. For just a moment gawkers watched the younger boy leave before realising the drama was over and returning to their food.

Jesse didn't stop walking. He passed his locker, passed the main doors and kept on going, leaving the school far behind him.

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><p>. . .*:::*. . .<p>

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><p>Spencer's head snapped up when the front door was thrown open and he and Amy all but fell over themselves to get out of the living-room. It was nine pm and a haggard looking Jesse had finally spilled in the door.<p>

"Jesse Gideon Morgan!" Spencer barked half out of his mind, "Where in the blue fuck have you been?!"

Jesse had never seen the man so angry. His father was bordering on hysterics, "I'm sorry," he apologised feebly, "I...I just needed to clear my head for a bit."

"And what, a phone call was just too hard for you?!" Spencer snarled. "I was an hour off of calling your father, hell I was fit to call the police!"

"Y-You didn't call Dad?"

"Did you want to spend the next year grounded? He's on a case in Seattle." Spencer retorted. "Actually scratch that, you are grounded, for the next month. Go to bed Jesse, we'll discuss this in the morning. Oh and for the record? Don't skip school, your principal called. You have after school detention every Thursday for a month."

Jesse didn't bother protesting. He deserved it and knew he did. Amy cast him a scathing look before taking their father's hand and saying something about a calming cup of tea. Jesse watched them go and with a heavy sigh he made his way upstairs tossing his book bag in the corner of his room. He had homework and a test to study for, but couldn't garner the motivation to get it done. Stripping down to just his t-shirt and boxers, the teenager pulled back the covers and collapsed into bed, where in sleep he could escape his pain.

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><p>. . .*:::*. . .<p>

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><p>Jesse woke with a croaked cry sometime around three am. His digital clock glowed bright from his bedside cabinet and heart racing he shifted carefully in bed, groaning when he found the bed completely soaked beneath him. Great, just great! His night terrors had finally screwed with his bladder. Reaching out he switched the light on, illuminating the room and kicking away his duvet the teenager cursed. The bed was destroyed and with irritable words and curses the boy wriggled from his soaked boxers only to freeze, dark eyes locking on the mirror just across from him. No, no! It was too early! He had another month! As if to prove him wrong pain cut through his middle and the teenager just about swallowed his scream, spreading his thighs further, the mirror allowing him to see clearly the crowning head of a baby, "O-Oh G-God!" The pain, how had he not noticed the pain? It carved a searing path through him and clutching the sheets beneath him Jesse gave into what his body wanted and pushed. Bit by bit the baby slipped from the teenager's body. Heaven knows how he kept silent, but he did and suddenly he had a premature, squalling baby girl sat between his bloody thighs. He couldn't do it anymore. He had carried that secret beneath his heart for just over eight months and he couldn't take it. "Papa, PAPA!"<p> 


End file.
